Let's blog, jetstar

So what has been happening in my life?

• Uni makes me feel lonely and incompetent but I am making a few friends and they're lovely and helpful and they make the place a bit more bearable - they're just not in my classes.
• I've been kinda hating myself for killing my own dream and it hurts and it makes me sad and I'm losing myself in this course, on this road. I don't hate biomed or anything, i just hate myself for letting it all fall apart.
• All in all, uni is a bit depressing and I've lost that attitude of just being happy and not letting sadness control me and I'm sad I'm sad I'm sad. I think everybody's in this state of sadness too, about uni, or that's what it seems like. Uni was definitely overhyped but there's got to be a reason people talk about it like it's pretty dang cool. It's coming, it should be. It's not here yet but it's on its way.
• In other news, I met a boy and I fell in love but he's way out of my league and straight-as, most probably and this is the same thing, a segment of my life on repeat. And the other night, it actually hurt. It sank me, the whole situation. But it's life, all the boys you meet will be straight, William  It's a good thing because if the majority of people were gay, the human race would just be ripe for extinction. Ugh, boys.
• I've also been missing my hs friends like crazy. I mean, I've hung onto my kik group, thank god, but there are still people who are slowly disappearing in my life and it pains me. I remember thinking it was the little friendships that I made that would suck to miss, but it was the big ones. Mainly Mai because she was so reliable and lovely and wonderful and now I don't see her as much and i sit next to empty chairs and I feel so alone. She was a good friend and I knew that but I should've known it more.
• Maria and Em turned 18 the other day and it was nice to see them have fun and fly through the transition on drunken wings (even though I saw neither of them on my birthday :S) It was a fun party, yessirree.
• I also went on the VSA RGB cruise and that was aiight. It would've been nicer to be tipsy but oh well.     I wish I was super confident and bubbly and lovable and also good-looking enough to turn straight boys into the other direction. But we can't ask for everything, hahaha...
• Sorry that this post is kinda down.
• I should reaaaaally start studying for German, my test is in two days and I had like two weeks to study but my god, I kept going out and ugh, I suckkk.
• Okay, let's lighten the mood, yo, let's get a shot of happy up in this bitch.
• So like, Eet by Regina Spektor was playing and I just got this strong-ass feeling of nostalgia. It was mighty powerful. Don't know why, but it was wonderful, and I remembered how important Spektor was to me. 
• Also, Florence and the Machine and Lana Del Rey are making songs for the new Gatsby movie and they were in the same trailer and somebody finally put them together. It's strange but I feel as if the two have a strange connection. Like their music belong in the same cluster. I remember making a list of born to die songs with ceremonials songs and it was gooood. I made the list because I was just listening to those songs at the time, but then I found things like top YouTube comments that read "FLORENCE & LANA" on videos strictly about Florence and it was like there were other people out there, many of them, that felt the same. I wonder what a collaboration would be like. It'd prolly be weird and maybe bad but who knows. 
• I also thought back to the day Drew, Jess and I went to Shelley beach and climbed rocks and took photos. Those were nice photos and it was a nice day. It was pretty rad.
• Okay, that's it. That's all I really have to offer right now. Bye.