What astounds me most is how many people noticed I was happier. I knew I was happier, there was no way I couldn't be, but I didn't know that it was so noticeable. I knew I was a sad kid in 2014, I realised when I couldn't get up from my bedroom floor this one morning but I had no idea it showed? I always put effort into being happy around company and being okay with my situation but I guess that didn't work.
Anyways, I'm glad I ended up going to AFTRS. I've basically spent the year trying to be more artistic and well-read. I started painting and taking film photos (basically maria's hobbies lol) and I made my first short film. I've read 11 and a half books. It's not a lot but I'm a damn slow reader lol and my attention span is shit as, I have to be stuck on a train to read (which is usually when I do read). My romantic life is in the shits still but maybe that's what 2016 will be about. Who knows.
2016's also placement year. I hope things go well. I'm thinking of taking a trip to the states and doing an internship there. But that takes a lot of planning and idk if 2016 me can handle that lol. I've still got lots on my mind but at least this year I figured out I that as long as I'm in the arts, I'll be happy. Maybe editing? Art direction? Art direction would be mad. So would making my own original films. Writing's still my passion and my main girl, but idk how to be a writer lol Idk how to write for the general public or rather for people other than myself. But I guess that's just something I gotta learn.
Do you guys get those days where you notice you're growing up? Like you haven't seen certain friends in a while because you're both so busy and you're sad about it but you notice you're both just growing up and it's nice. It's nice to know that you're just growing. You're on the up and up and it's liberating. Stressful and scary but freeing and all that other shit. And you slowly let go of your inner child and it's okay. Basically, you're not as inexperience and dumb as you thought you were. I mean, I still lack a shitload of lifeskills that I should have at leasted started learning by now but all in good time lol.
Fuck, I forgot about Nature Boy.
Bye.
