Heavy

My eyelids are weighing me down.
I should get rid of them. That way the world will be in full view,
full time, right in front of me. No sneak attacks or sudden fits of
stress, did-I-do-that's and baggy eyes. I wouldn't be so surprised at what I had done,
Or what I had become. Seems like I've changed, or needed to.
Seems like the world's changing too. I blink, and things aren't where they were
before. I feel kinda lost nowadays. And I feel so heavy in this bed.
Or maybe I just need more shut-eye. Wait, isn't this shut-eye the problem?
Or the answer? Okay, I definitely need sleep.
Eternal. Mortal, immortal, sleep is all I need. And yet, I've had plenty of it.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL No idea, guys, just let it go. Okay, so I should be sleeping right now, but I'll catch y'all up. I handed in my feature article today for english and I feel so disappointed in my lack of effort, and yet I couldn't care less. I did the most I could in one night, even if not the most I could in the full time I was given. But I'm cool. I'm fresh, like fresh jive. So many cool headlines all over class today, too. And we finished watching Gatsby, and now we're moving on to A Doll's House. It looks boring, but it probably ain't. Sir hit me when I said it looked boring, so that might be a sign. That my teacher is abusive. LOL I joke, I joke, he probably ain't. Also - fun fact - my english teacher is my only male teacher :O Anywho, Gatsby, or Robert Redford, has a nice-ass ass. Moving on from English.

Drama drama, is quite fun. I still need to work out how to do my scene. And oh my god, I was thinking about our scenes and how once we perfect our movement, we will look so damn cool. Also, I'm thinking of writing my own monologue for my NIDA [National Institute of Dramatic Arts] application. It's not recommended, since it ain't professional but I can at least shape it easily to fit memememe, since I'm writing it :L I'm thinking of taking my oncology idea, where I talk about a man who used to be an oncologist [cancer doctor] but quit because he could not take it. And in doing so, he became broke and lonely and yet somewhat happy. A little bit. But maybe he'll be sad overall. Also, when I think of ideas, I write them down in my phone, and I just had a looksee. And well, I apparently wrote 'Angel watching humans'. And I kinda remember thinking about a monologue where I'm an angel watching humans and their ways. Probably been done over and over before, but oh well. I wonder if I'll ever use the idea... I WANT TO BE A STAR ON PAPER, A STAR TO SHINE HOPE AND ASPIRATIONS. Moving on again.

I bought stuff from Jaycar. My oh my, scale models are bitchily expensive, but oh well. Moving on.

I've been really wanting seafood lately. Maybe I can get fish&chips on Saturday. I've been drinking a lot of Pineapple juice lately. There was a sale at coles the other day, and I got excited so I took any bottle of pineapple juice and bought it. Took it home, drink drink drink and ugh. LOL It was quite terrible at first, but I got use to it. I later found out: IT WAS UNSWEETENED. WHO DOES THAT? WHY. But yeah, it's all good now. Next!-

Community meeting: It was very fun. I enjoyed it. The hospo peeps were all amazing cooks and the food was delicious, scrumptious, mighty fine! LOL, yum, white people food. I wish I got to try the pork :( Also, stuck in the mud, while it lasted, was also really fun. Playing games at school during the night-time can be mighty nice! We, as the lovely, young, lively teenagers we were, got tired awfully quick :L What else is there to talk about? Let's go back further.

Chem and physics tutter was okay. But... I didn't do my hw, and he asked me why I didn't and I said I didn't have time :( But I did, and I felt so guilty. If he had lectured me and embarrassed me in front of the class, I wouldn't have felt so guilty. But, instead, he just gave me a disappointed/slightly angry look and ugh. I can't wait 'til hsc is over. No more tutor and homework and kljgkj;lglkg;. I don't want to go to a uni either. I want to go to NIDA. It would be a dream to live my dream. .... :L

Apparently we are not as good friends as I thought. I never thought we were that great of friends, hardly at all, but I thought it was more than what you had shown. ... I'd make this clearer but arskenflarghendarhgen.

My neck is all wonky. I want a new neck. I'd like to look less like a vulture. And more like Zac Effron :L LOL, I joke. I feel as if his appeal [sex appeal, that is] kinda died down for me after the lucky one. I really liked him during his Charlie St Cloud time, but now. I don't know. He's a little less cute, and a tad bit douchier in my eyes, now. But it's probably just me and my muddled-up mind.

Long post, this one. I guess things need to end somewhere. From flames to ashes, and from ashes to forgetting - it's time to leave this mess, and simply walk away.

Three cheers for out-of-place and unnecessary italics!