Quick Quack Quost

Hey guys, just a quick post before I get back to Germanic studies. So today I had my heart shattered and my confidence beat down by the calculus exam. And I think what pains me the most was that I remember thinking on the train ride there that I should probably check back on what the formula for the equation of a tangent was and that was that. I didn't check and I forgot about the whole situation. And then bam, it was goddamn EVERYWHERE I WANT TO CRY. And yeah, on the way to the train station I was thinking and being really sad. I do this thing where my thoughts turn into a blog post and this post was so angsty. So here's the jist of it :L

• I didn't make it. I sank. I failed everything, I couldn't get through one semester of uni.
• And there it was - the lining of it all.
• I think one of my biggest fears is my family and their reactions. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with them when it comes to revealing that I failed the semester.
• And then I started questioning things. I wasn't quite sure if I was afraid of what my parents would say or think, but rather if they were right or not.
• And today, a confirmation.
• I've been called many things - useless, pathetic, stupid, hopeless, and I've lived these past few years thinking to myself that they were wrong. They had to be, I had to have a purpose.
• And the HSC brought a light to that.
• And I was sorta happy.
• But happiness can only be grasped for so long.
• I felt so pathetic and useless and hopeless and so very stupid today.
• And alone.
• And I guess I had it coming all along.

Ta-da, that was my walk to the station. And then I met all the canley-usyd peeps who all did the same test and they agreed that the test was stupid (not me, that was walk2station talk, so silly, sadness is silly). I also met a couple of Jun's computing buds. Nice guys, both from Peak's Thursday class back in the day. We played this celebrity heads sorta game on the train. It was tres fun.

Anyways, I added the link to my writings tumblr on the right hand side bar. But I pretty much post the same things I post there here :L But I reblog poems and writings from other people on tumblr or extracts of famous literature and people can write such beautiful things. Also, I'll upload my script soon. You know, Gravity, the thing I wrote for my drama hsc ip. I reread it the other week and I'm very proud. I noticed a few problems like lines that didn't quite fit the character but all in all, I didn't cringe as much upon reading it as I thought I would.

Oh, and another thing: Sometime in the winter break, I think I'm gonna redo this whole blog. The layout, the titles, colour schemes. I have on idea what it'll be like though. I'm so excite. It could be a space, nebula sorta theme, or like a german-jap theme WHO KNOWS! I wonder if I should change the url, too. I know it won't be as easy as tumblr because people have to refollow me, people might not realise I changed it, all that. I never really like 'bobinasblag'. I became so attached to 'bobsblag' when I first got a blogger account. It rolled off the tongue so much better than bobinasblag. I remember once Long Le mistook it for Bobinasblack hahaha. Say goodbye to binary and Blaggity Blag, It's time to dance :) These will be your last few weeks with them. If you have a tumblr, follow and share my writings blog! i need to get out there and into the writing society with all its love and hate, ahhhhh. This is Willbeezzy signing out. Tschüss!