If things had gone the way I planned

If they had, I would've walked right past you and laughed to myself. You would've looked at me, recognised me and smirked. And then we'd go on with our days.

If things went right, I would've seen you across the way and when you looked straight at me, I would've stayed put. I would've tilted my head just a little, and I'd put up hand, fingers slightly curled, to indicate a wave. You would've smiled and waved back, and I'd smile in response. Then I'd turn and walk away with Will and I would've said to him, "I lost my virginity to that guy." I would've been chipper and Will would have laughed.

If things had gone the way I wanted, I wouldn't be so "I'm cool, but I'm not really". I say that letting go is the best thing someone can do when in trouble. But I can't seem to shrug the fact that everything was so... short-lived. That everything ended with a hug. And that that was it. Hm. I don't know how I didn't see this coming. I mean, I did. But I thought I could handle it. I guess not as much as I had planned, hey.

Bye.

EDIT: Don't get me wrong, I don't regret the act. I'm happy with how that turned out. Just unhappy with myself and the aftermath.

edit-edit: So APPARENTLY, that's what a one night stand is. I sure do feel a lot like Sam Smith rn lolololol