So this is my way of seeing adulthood

I used to be so weirded out by the way adults would speak to each other. How they'd be so polite and so sensible and the jokes they made. Like, they're not funny jokes, but people laugh, out of politeness and because they understand why the person is making these jokes. Pretty much, it creeped me out but I now see what's happening. Being young, I only ever spoke to my brother and my friends and it was always casual as. But it's like talking to teachers.

Okay, lol, I tried to make a nice interesting thing to blog about, but ugh. Can't get the words out, I'm terrible at this. All in all, eventually, we might live a life where all we do is speak like robots as to climb a ladder, and if that ever happens to me, I'll be even afraid of myself. And who wants to become that?

Okay, let's move on. So I was at manning bar in usyd with a friend today and at like one pm, a bunch of theatre students? Theatre society students came running out and there were a bunch of theatre sport games. Twas hilarious, and some of them were really good like the butcher one, oh the butcher one. LOL yes, I know, y'all dun give a damn but I give a damn and THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. ME.

Anyways, my life is aiight. I'm beginning to question as to why I hate engineering to much. I want to say it's because I went into the wrong area, that I chose the one thing I didn't do well in in the hsc - science. But then  there's that feeling deep down inside, that maybe I'm just being really lazy. What's putting me off is how badly I'm doing in the exams. It is true that my lack of passion for my subjects is a large factor as to why I'm not doing well, but there's also the fact that I'm lazy and I don't get around to things, and I'm thinking, right? I'm thinking what else can I do? What is there that will get me a good job, a good future, that won't bring up the same problems? Law has too much reading and everything else is science. Ew. Quite frankly, I'd be so happy if everybody would just let me do what I want. Okay, so more thinking, like right now, right? I'm starting to think that it's not the riskiness that's holding me back from film. I don't want to be the type to blame everybody else but myself - but I feel as if the only reason I'm not going for it is because I'm afraid of how angry everybody will be. How my family will hate it and pretty much, I don't care about failing my course, I care about what they'll think of me and how they'll react. And really, I don't want to continue in this sort-of unhappiness. I really hate where my life is right now.

Okay, time to wait for when I worry about how scary the world is still. Another post then.

Otherwise, au revoir. I'm sorry but I am waaaaay too lazy to reread this post :L Enjoy the mistakes.