I wish I had snacks rn (Working Title)

Alt. titles:

• Film School Fuck
• Lady Grey and her Mistress (Me)
• Bold

I got a compliment that I was bold, it went straight to my head. I think it was about my eyeliner.

Anyways, I think it's about time I blogged about film school.

I remember at the start of 2013, fresh out of highschool, I went to an o-day at AFTRS. I don't think I ever actually intended on applying, before or after the o-day, but rather I just wanted to pretend I was going to. I wanted to feel like I was showing some initiative in defying my parents and following film. I took the same tour of the school I took just a few months from today during orientation, I passed the same library thinking lol what a tiny library and I sat in the same theatre I attend lectures at now, watching people talk about the foundations program. Pass the time with a couple of years of self-loathing and making friends, here I am. I go to film school and it's honestly the best.

Growing up in the south-west, going to cvhs, film school seemed like a loser's ambition. It was impractical and a home for failures who couldn't handle the real world. I couldn't handle the real world. Or rather, I couldn't handle being the kind of person I was existing in this real world. Anyhow, going to a film school now, none of those stigmas, none of those comments really affect me. They did bring me down after highschool, but now they kinda motivate me. 

This tea sucks, Lady Grey's supposed to be my favourite and it's letting me down.

Everybody at school kinda acknowledges this sense of pride, you know that 'oh look at me I go to fiiiiillmmmmmmmmm schoooooolllllll' but they also know that they're going nowhere but I think we're all going nowhere happily, you know? We all help each other out too. I thought this was gonna be competitive as fk but I guess that'll be when we graduate or when we start interning. 

The Minority Report is also pretty great to be a part of. I made a small group with three other ppl and we all happen to be a minorities who attend aftrs (which btw is a sea of white ppl) and it's pretty rad. The first person I made friends with was a graduate from the new york film academy, another film school in sydney and idk, the way he talked or the things he talked about made me feel kinda crappy because it felt like he was only looking for friends he could add to his crew and I really had nothing to contribute except writing and the guy was already a writer so first day was great but lonely. Thank god for second day tho because that's where I met Louise and I think we were just looking for someone to latch onto, someone we could say hi to in the morning so we didn't have to stand around awkwardly. I also met Ella, Katherine and Gavin on the same day for our first safety induction thing with Dapherz. Eventually I met Aaron later on at the food markets and the Minority Report was formed, I like it a lot. 

I'm so happy, guys, I'm finally following my stupid, beloved dream and I'm among people who make me happy as well. It's a given, but everybody at film school shares a passion and you can really feel it when you're there. It was different from Biomed, I think. In biomed, we just all went to uni and studied academic shit, we were smart, science nerds. Hm, maybe it is the same. I guess it only feels different to me because I'm more attached to film.

Anyways, fuck the fking movies of 2015 list I have on the side of my blog hahaha I'll take it down eventually. I chose a bad year, I don't know why I didn't think I was gonna watch that many movies this year, we basically watch 1-2 a week and I'm watching so many more so I become more cultured.

I CAN'T WAIT TO DO THIS DAMN END OF SEM PROJECT AND SHOW YOU GUYS!!!!!

Here's what's up: It's a short film - a series of poems a girl who's just died is reciting, reflecting on whether or not she's been a good person or not. The film is pretty much her transition between life and death. Supposed to be humble philosophy, whatever that means. Anyways, I'm writing-directing and Michail, a school-mate, is gonna be in charge of cinematography and maria's gonna be my actress, it'll be a rad timeeee.

Maybe I'll replace the movie list with a book list. I've finished a lot more novels this year than I have the whole of many others recently. It feels nice and reading kills time on train rides pretty effectively. I'm reading Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway rn tho and it's written in a train of thought style and omg it is so hard to read. Her thoughts are all over the place and basically, I'm halfway through the book and I have NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING. I honestly don't know what's going on. It's good writing, I can recognise that, but I'd be lying if I told you I knew what the damn plot was or what's going on in the part I'm reading or that I was enjoying the book. It is definitely not killing time on train rides and I wanna stop reading it and move onto something better but I also feel this need to finish what I started. But really, I'm dreading the dang book and it'd ultimately be a lot better to move on because I'm wasting precious reading time I could be spending on a book I like. LOL The only reason I chose Mrs Dalloway was because it was one of the books we could write our essay on and I didn't even finish the book before the essay was due nor did I need it. Goddamn. 

Also, I shot a silent, one-minute sequence starring Aaron Healey and Louise Dietz-Henderson. The prompt I chose was a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald from Flappers and Philosophers:

This unlikely story begins on a sea that was a blue dream, as colourful as blue-silk stockings, and beneath a sky as blue as the irises of children's eyes.

Click here to watch the video.

I wish I gave myself more time to film it because I would've filmed it a little differently. I would've kept the shot static during aaron's scenes and made them really lively and move around for louise's for more contrast. Like at the start, I would've kept the shot on the window and had Aaron's silhouetted body walk in. I also should've fucked the one minute limit and kept louise's shot after the title sequence a bit longer. Dang. Oh well. EDIT: I GOT MY MARKS BACK AND THE MARKER WAS LIKE MAYBE YOU SHOULDA KEPT THE MAN'S SCENES STATIC???? :((((((((((

I guess that's it. I'll post a photo post eventually. Thanks for sticking with me, if you're sticking with me. Bye, everybody. 

This is what I look like now, just btw.