Guilt Among Other Things

This one time I went clubbing and it wasn't home to my proudest moments. I wasn't quite myself that night. I was rude and sleazy and I wish I hadn't done the things I had done. There's one person I'd like to apologise to so sincerely and so deeply. I'm sure what I did barely phased you but I hate myself for it. I'm sorry.

You know those nights where you're invited out to paint the town red and you want to, but you're a bit tired? You find trivial reasons to avoid going. But within those nights, there are the ones where you say, "You know what? I haven't gone out in a while" or, "the holidays are almost over" or, "you deserve this". So you push yourself to go. And you do and it's just the absolute best when you end the night going, "I'm so glad I left the house tonight."

That night wasn't like that. I wish I had never gone. I'd never felt so lonely and alone before. But I guess, if I were to be optimistic, I'd learn from this. I'll never be that person again. That night and my actions were so regretful but now they can be a lesson learnt. I'll always cringe at myself but I guess I just have to move on. Wherever you are, Daniel - know that I'm sorry. May we never meet again.

Anyways, let's end this post with an extract of a poem - an extract that I reaaaally like:

"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay."

- Robert Frost, Nothing Gold Can Stay

Thanks for reading, bye!