Blinded with hot gas and carving off steam.

Direction.

A direction!

I can see it, I can feel it. 

It's there. 

I've been waiting for you.

I finally did some research into what I need to do to apply to AFTRS (Australian Film, Television and Radio School) and NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Arts) and when to do it by and pretty much;

For AFTRS, I need to write a short story based on given stimuli, write a fairly short critical analysis on an aspect of a film or tv show and to show off my "best work" - application due on the 1st of November.

I'm excited because I have something to do! I have something to strive for. I no longer have to lounge about! I wonder what I end up writing. It's so scary though. I read the outline of the course and they're like "We're looking for deep shit, interesting stuff - out there kinda things" and I am so afraid. Of course, of course, of course, OF COURSE, I don't have any faith in myself or my ability. But I can only try. What use are those feelings anyway? I have three months to produce three things and so far, I don't have a best work so I have to make one lol. I hope I can do it, I really do.

For NIDA,

I have to prepare a bunch of monologues, two contemporary and one Shakespeare I think?? And once I finish, they either call you back or you don't get in. ... I'm much more excited for the aftrs course because it's more my domain. But I'll apply to NIDA too because I just wanna know.

So yeah, I'm excited and it's been so damn long since I've been this excited about my life. But I'm also so very, very afraid of what might happen. 

I'm slowly finding my bearings, guys. Maybe I'll get out of this funk, this fog. We shall see.

Dasvidaniya <3