Unless that 'future realisations' bit doesn't count. Then in that case it's III. ... LOL Anywho, dreams are so bitchy. I mean, it's great - dreaming and all, but dreams are so out of reach. Or they can be. I keep telling myself that if I follow my dreams, I'll be content, no matter where it leaves me. But these feelings keep getting shot down by the realisation that I could become so much less. I could be just a small time director that at 40, dies his hair platinum blonde, shaves his sides and ties his hair up like a pineapple. He enters film festivals whenever he can but has only ever reached the edge of the better auditions, where the judges slowly brush him aside for the new, better videos. He'll write and write and never be recognised because he's just too minute to be. I mean, who wants to read his crappy crap-crap? Nobody. At all. Not even the friends who have by now left him or at least look down on him every chance they can. As painful as it is, it's a possibility. It's quite a big one too. I mean, we all get that terrible feeling that we're not good enough to achieve our goals. My goal is huge - I mean, only a filmic genius could become a world-famous writer-director who makes amazing, dazzling stories every step he takes. I don't have what it takes. I know it. It's so scary, the world ahead of us. And we can dream on and take risks but there's a big gorge between where we are now and our desired destination. Sure, we could have the bravery to jump, but who's going to catch us when we miss miserably and fall into the deep abyss of failure? I don't want to fail. I don't want to be the kid who comes last or the sad pineapple man. I want to be a star, and yet I'm only a boy with future fears. I'm so afraid of where my life will take me. If I follow this path, will I really be happy? I don't want to be a writer who is as renowned and loved as the dust between piano keys. I can't even write nice in my blogs. I can dream but I may not live it. The chances of becoming what I want to become are so achingly small. Perhaps I'm being negative but I am also being reasonable. The celebrities of today are always talking about how they worked so hard to get where they are, and they did, but millions of people work just as hard, don't they? And where are they? In the shadows, unknown and unseen. Okay, I'm being a whiny little ass. I'll stop. But future fears, man. I'm so scared. Okay, new paragraph, new mindset.
You'll never know until you try. Push through the rain, and you'll find the sun. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. No pain, no gain. We'll never reach the stars if we don't put our hands out. This is the life you lead - whether you live it to it's full potential is your own choice. Choose wisely. Dream on. Reach
high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep,
for every dream precedes the goal. The
future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of
their dreams.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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