In this moment

In this post:

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower
• Passion and Doubts
• My Stomach
• Chocolate Milk
• Old Poetry
• Chocolate Milk II
• Monologue
• One More Piece of Milk Talk

1. So I just watched the trailer for Perks and my oh my, it looks interesting. I had also just learnt that that was where the infamous quote "and in this moment, I swear, we were infinite" came from. Crazy. I thought it was from some pop song :L And, according to Jess, and from what it seems, the book is from the perspective of the main character. And I'd imagine that the writer would be able to write like he would in a diary. Or she. Like sophisticated blogging. It just sounds really fun to write a novel like a blog, but incredibly more detailed and in someone else's shoes.

2. I'm beginning to think I don't have what it takes to become a star. Or to even make it through NIDA. Or even make it in. But Emily told me not to lose my passion, and yet it's slipping. It's slipping ever so slowly, but I am losing grasp. I want to write, create and share. I want to inspire, transpire, I WANT TO BE A STAR.

3. MY STOMACH IS SO DAMN ANNOYING. Whenever I'm at tutor or something, or just around people, it decides to make a long, loud-ass grumbling noise for the whole class to hear. ugh, dammit, stomach, stop being such a bitch :@

4. I love chocolate milk.

5. Unloved Souls - this is a very old poem I wrote and yeah... It's okay :L Kinda has a few take care elements in it and eh. It's kinda teenage love stuff and dllgsjklg I don't know.... And LOL, I realised I like roses and daisies, because I wrote this before I wrote the one on my cerebrum and they both mention roses and daisies. Same flowers, same time :L Oh, and this one's supposed to be a little songy.... Don't judge :L

Clocks ticking on the walls.

People crowding in the halls.

Have you ever been so lost,

‘til you can’t even find yourself?

I’ll make my way through the waves

Of bustling rose and death-like daisies

Just for you.

Hoping that if I follow the petals that lay in the midst of the tune,

I will find my way to the likes of you.

But as they push me down, and I break the tension, hit the ground,

I find myself at your feet.

‘Cause I loved you. And I loved every second of our time.

And you loved me. Those days we can’t deny.

But you left, and I left and nobody said it,

But we all knew we were thinking of it.

And so time stood still, yet so much to kill.

You left these shoes that no-one else could fill,

So I waited. And I waited. ‘Cause I loved you.

And I know you loved me too. But you left me. And I left you.

‘Cause I loved you, but I don’t feel the same.

And you loved me. None of us can ever feel it again.

Cause you broke every piece, every bone, every inch of me.

I tore through every muscle, every touch of skin, your identity.

My heart, it froze with your ice-cold touch,

And your heart believed in the truest of loves,

‘Cause I loved you. And you loved me.

But we could never let it lie, just let it be.

Oh, don’t tell me now. Don’t try to bring it back.

‘cause I’ve tried it all before, but we still end up off track,

And in our own little holes. Burrowed with the pity, the sorrow, our miserable,

Unloved souls.

6. Oh my god: Chocolate Milk + Shot Glasses. Oh dear lord, this night is about to get WILD.

7. Lonely Hearts and Nebulas (:O That's my tumblr url! Crazy, I know!)

I feel like I’m falling faster than I should be. Into your arms, through them, hitting the concrete. If I knew you could catch me, I would’ve fallen from the end of the Universe. But I floated in that space, so idly, so alone. I was too afraid to give in to the gravity of your heart, your soul and your arms. It just seems like if I leave this empty vacuum, I’ll no longer be safe from what I fear the most. I’ll be vulnerable to the dark, spiders and, of course, the pavement. But it also looks like things aren’t all that still up here in the sky beyond the sky. For every minute that I spend among the stars, the lonely, yawning stars, I grow stranger. Yes, stranger, and more hollow, and more lacking of an essence of mind, sanity and control. I’m afraid of what I’ve become. I am no longer able to separate love from lust, and like the stars that blaze among me, I may have to explode and wisp away, white-hot and alone, in hopes of escaping this heartless fate.

I can tell that you’re lonely too. I can see it in those eyes of yours, stark-cold and hard as stone. You’re almost robotic, and it’s killing you. You’re swapping your DNA for binary, tearing out your skin for modifications of steel and circuitry.  And I can see why you do it at all, why you’re so willing. Because it’s without emotion, that you feel - well not feel - but you find that in a void of a body, you won’t have to deal with all the things that you fear. But you don’t have to be afraid - not anymore. You can protect me from the darkness, the spiders and the pavement. And I’ll protect your from the same. We can wrap each arm around each wound, and rock ourselves to sleep. It’s lonely where we are, in your hole and far out in this blackness. But in between, things are brighter, eternal, transcendent, blissful and overflowing with happiness. Our happiness.

If only we could find a way out, first.

8. One day, I will buy different kinds of milk - full cream, skim, half-skim, goat - ALL KINDS. And then, I'll take out a glass, and make milk combinations. Maybe one day I'll take 2 parts full-cream, one part goat and another part tits. Every day will be a mystery. A milk mystery. ...

9. That is all. Au revoir, boys and girls.

10. Also, We'll be wild. We'll be glowing in the dark.