A Sad Song and a Script

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhQ5seprs6s

Yes. Yes it is. Well, what my take on it is that it's pretty much that "that's who we like the most - the ones we can't" kinda things. And you know, at one point in our times, we all have to go through that stuff and I just really like the song. .... LOL I don't know where this is going. I really want to see another dubstep fight scene. I remember when A-sassy-n's creed had a dubstep trailer and I was really excited and amazed that nobody had done that before and yet, it was disappointing :( I WANT A COOL DUBSTEP FIGHT SCENE, GOSHDARNIT. Anywho.  I still have no idea. Oh, but in the song, there are the lines "You know me, I love to lose my mind. Every time anybody speaks your name, I still feel the same, I ache I ache I ache inside." It's just so sadddddddd. There's that whole world falling apart thing and that romantic 'you came back for me' but then we're reminded that it's all just a dream and aeskfjlksjglkjsfdklldsg. It's a nice song. Anywho, where am I going, where, am, I... Yus.

QUESTION TO JESS: Remember that time you and Maria painted those big letters that spelt SNEZANA for, well, Snezana? Was that really a year ago? Or was it Christmas? I'm losing my mind here, Jess, I need to know.

Next topic of conversation. ......... I'm sorry, guys. Horrible post today. I don't even know why I'm here. Ummmmm, one piece is good. And I love the sky. How it spans across to the rest of the world - far beyond where your sight can take you. I love the clouds, so ethereal, so soft, so beautiful. I love the way the sun dances off of them. I love the blue, I love the brightness. And the best thing is - it doesn't stop there. Beyond the ocean of sunshine and cotton candy, there's the never-ending blackness - sparkled by stars, and draped by nebulas. I love the sky. I absolutely love it.

Okay, okay, okay. Because this post suck horrible balls, I shall enlgihten you with a script. LOL It's not all that and it has nothing to do with my Gravity one but hey, it was fun to right. It's called: WEDNESDAY.

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Marcus: Isn’t it obvious? Hair as vibrant as the sun, fingers as graceful as swans. She will come and destroy every piece of you, villain. And I’m afraid there really isn’t anything you can do to stop her. Can’t you feel that lack of lovely breeze, and that silent howl of wind? The shying of the moon, the stillness of the leaves. They are all signs that she is coming. Signs that mean the waking of the girl with the crescent shadow, the deathly whisper, and the midnight allure. The time, the day, the moment, the sway, of Shadow-striking Charlotte Wednesday. 

Iago: Oh please, save me the introduction. I need none other than the sight of this mysterious lady. But once this Charlotte witnesses the destructive powers of I, Iago Monday, she will runnest away like a little baby duck. So save your breath, Marcus Horseradish, for it will be your last.

Enter Ember, from stage left.

Ember: And yet you speak so much yo-self. Drop the act, fool. I’m about to go downtown on yo puny ass. If God will be my witness, see that I am defending an innocent man, and give me the power, as little as needed, to obliterate this pathetic little runt, okay? 

Ember begins to glow.

                You see, I am a soldier of the heavens. I’m a devil, yes, yes. But I am more angelic than of the flames. And with these full-blown wings, you will see the other side of life, choking and bleeding all over the road. I am Ember Saffron, the third Devil of Marilyn Manor, and now you will feel my God-like wrath. 

Ember burns even brighter, until bright sparkly flame-like smoke effervesces off her skin.

Iago: Wow. You actually mean it. You think you can defeat me? Think again, little girl. Lightning, hurricanes, hail and all. Strike down this arrogant whore, and with haste she shall fall. Winds of destruction, slice this duck ‘til she’s nothing but a bag of bones, licked dry of her own blood.

Thunder is heard and lighting begins to flash. A fan also blows into the stage, giving the effect of strong winds. 

                Where is your god now?

A strange, hooded figure arises from a trapdoor behind Iago. It is Charlotte!

Charlotte: Ekatón dýo. Antío, Iago Saffron. Eínai kairós na procho̱rí̱soume.

Charlotte stabs the man in the dark, as the light fades inwards toward the two until there is only a spotlight on them.

                Eínai kairós na gínoume éna me ton kósmo skiá.

Lights come back on.

Marcus: Charlotte. I… You’re here.

Charlotte: And yet now, I must leave. Bury the body at midnight. I will join for a minute to bless the grave then. Marcus, here is your bow, arrows and quiver. I apologise for not returning it earlier, when I intended to, especially since you needed it for this man here. Please forgive me.

Marcus: I can try, you dirty little whore. But I’m going to hesitate the next time you ask for something.

Charlotte: I said I was sorry. Oh my god, Marcus, why do you have to be like this? It’s not like you ever die when this happens. Maybe you get close, but I always save you. Come on, Marcus, jeez. Grow up.

Marcus: Me? Why don’t you get your own weapons, you cheapskate. And is that MY knife? Dammit, Charlotte, you’ve stopped asking completely now? Wednesday, you are gr-

Ember: OKAY, so yeah, thanks a lot, Miss Wednesday. Very much appreciated. But I guess I have to go too. Daddy’s worrying. And I have this sorta rebellious reputation to him. Ugh. I mean, it’s not like I asked to be born a devil. I’m sorry I’m not perfect like Jesus, daddy. But Jesus smoked once, too. He’s not that perfect. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?

Marcus: … Yeah, you should probably go now…

A bright, yellow spotlight on the ceiling, directly above Ember, shines on her, as she ascends into the area above the stage. A church choir sings in the background.

Charlotte: Ten bucks says you can’t shoot her shoe off without touching her.

Marcus: Psht, Charlotte, you fool. You just lost ten dollars to the town’s best archer.

Charlotte: Horseradish, you’re the town’s only archer.

Marcus: Quiet, I’m trying to concentrate over here.

He aims and fires. He ends up shooting Ember in the stomach. The choir singing stops.

Ember: Ahhhhhhhhhh-

Thud. She hits the ground.

Marcus: Oh dear. We should probably run now.

Charlotte: Yup.

Exit Charlotte and Marcus. Blackout. Ember groans in the darkness.

Ember: Is nobody going to help me? …

Nobody helps Ember. The end.

Apologies for the colours :L

God, you're so handsome.

English - ahhhhh..... Goodbye, goodbye, dear future of mine. LOL Okay, I'm being a tad bit dramatic but lol. I came in, like many people, without a clue of what I was going to write. LOL It's weird. I knew what I was supposed to do before the essay. I was planning to do my usual - quotes and what I'm going to talk about in each paragraph (never a draft essay because practice essays are for winners and I'm too lazy to be a winner] but for some odd reason, I just decided not to. Well I never decided it, but I just didn't. And I came into the room with no idea, and no care for having no idea. I mean, I usually put more effort in, or when I don't, I get super negative and constantly remind myself that I'm such a bastard to my education :L But I don't know. Today was different. Today was lazy.

Also, today was the Fej's last day. Also Savvy's but let's be honest here - nobody cared for her. Maybe Cathy’s group, and maybe all of us cared a little, but in proportion to the the Fej... LOL Poor little Sav. Her bitchy vibe wore off after a few days so yeah. Goodbye, student teachers of drama. Y'all were cool. And in this moment, I swear, we were so fetch. Oh, and Cathy made us some lovely cakes. They were lovely.

I liked Lana's presidential music video. It was cool. Poor Jacqueline. Goddamn. Shoot. Ugh, poor JFK. POOR EVERYBODY, DAMMIT. Okay, enough about the united states of A. Oh my god. You know what would've been a cool eday costume. If we had the money, or we could find a crappy copy - Gatsby-style. You know, roaring 20's suits and dresses. The guys could have those four button vests and pink jackets and the gals could have pearls, headbands and beady, frilly dresses. Like, the fray-y ones? ... Yeah. Even though the olden day white [OH, JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING – SEQUINS WERE POPULAR TOO. ANWHO, BACK TO THE RANT] people were kind-of dicks, they looked cool. Like, I love that television game show host thing. One day, I want to dress as a pop-art sort of character. Like, when I'm rich and on the red carpet for my new movie, Small Ripples :L I could wear a pop-art suit. Like, it's pink and covered in those comic-book style sound effects like POW! and SHAZAM! LOL And I could hold those old, circular-ish microphones around and my hair could be styled into a cool comb-over. As in the ones that seem to fit really nicely on oblong heads. Like, smooth and curved at the front.

I wonder if I’ll be able to send the Fej my completed script. I was planning to write an alternate ending for him before he left but I didn't have the time :( I want a cool ending. I have one in my mind but it's a little out there and hard to pull off. Fingers crossed I have the magic. Riskayeeeee.

I should make a study timetable for the holidays like everybody else. But am I going to follow it? I know I'm not. Arara, I'm so lazy. But I'm too lazy to do anything about it... LOL Okay, get back to work, Vilhelm. Or relax today. You did, after all, half-ass-ly finish an assessment today. Go on. You don't have the time. Let loose. ... Wait, does let loose mean have sex? Because I'm not sure right now. Free. To be free. Absolutely free. To spend time playing with the kids. To have a clean, beautiful home, the way Torvald likes it. Torvald is such a bastard. I'm actually quite content with our English texts. Other than history+memory, we got it pretty good. Well, at least in my eyes. I should get to finishing Gatsby though. Hm. MONEY IS THE ANTHEM. GOD, YOU'RE SO HANDSOME. MONEY IS THE ANTHEM of success. Au revoir, adieu, das vidaniya, ciao, sayonara, NEIINN!! ... Bye.

Future Fears II

I'm so afraid of what the future has in store for me. I'm so unsure of what I will become - and it's this uncertainty that will kill me. Hey... "the future ahead" - does that count as tautology? Anywho, apparently, you need "experience" to join NIDA. Isn't NIDA the experience? LOL That sucks. Maybe I should take up that uni idea. But does biomedical engineering or whatever count as exp? LOL Probably not for NIDA. Maths is going downhill. Darn. So is english. Hm. We have an assessment coming up very soon. And I have yet to start a draft essay... Hm. ANYWAYS, the future (ahead) is very scary. Who knows what ghosts and spiders lay beyond. Hopefully I can relinquish the first bitchy spirit. The HSC. Here's hoping for a 90+. It's not as high as what some of y'all will even settle with, but it's an aim. Why don't we break these fears with a touch of Romanticism. That's the nature thing, right?

Pickles. are. delicious.
Each savoury taste of bitter ecstasy is birthed in
Deep, damp, dark earth.
Where residing in hollow tunnels, ever-growing roots twist and knot,
Around each stone, each worm, each memorabilia of lives once lived,
And homes perished in flames, wartimes or just cursed, spiteful age.
All roots centre at one place, but take their journeys into lower layers of life, death, glory and all.
Closer to hell, they creep and they prosper for further licks of cells, grains and decaying flesh of fruit.
Take what causes growth and rush it through green veins of savoury sweetness.
Up the stiff stem of upheaval and into the thick, juicy, hard, pulsating pickle.
Pickle me cherries, I say. Pickle me cherries.

And that was William's take on romanticism. I know, it was almost as beautiful as William himself. William will now stop speaking in third-person.

LOL I joke, I don't know how to do romahmah. Anywho, future fears part II. Things are only getting tougher. Roads will gain more lanes, tolls will rise, more cars to deal with - it's all one big highway. And the highway will only expand. And there will only be more traffic jams. That is life. We drive and drive and drive. You could take the slow lane or the fast. Whichever one you choose will take you some place different. Maybe some place you don;t mind - relaxing, cosy, pleasant - or a place you thought you could only ever dream of - an uphill slope to dazzling lights, to the rest of the world, to heaven and beyond. It'll take you past the clouds and into the bright lights of space. It's a tough world we live in, but we have to overtake. We must know when to apply the brakes, slow down, speed up, turn on the NOSSSSSSSSSSS. LOL Remember fast and furious? Yeah. What a boy movie. LOL I keep looking down on all those normal movies :L As in the ones that focus heavily on what the general public wants. I'm such an ass but they suck. I mean, get what the public want, but put some thought into it. Make it tasteful. Not just bland fast-car action. I mean, LOL, okay. Maybe I'm generalising. I mean, avengers was lovely, and it was made for the public. And not all movies are like the fast and the furious. And oh my god, I really don't like the look of that Ted movie. It looks terrible and childish and ugh. LOL Okay, yeah. I'm an ass. Let's all accept it and move on :L OKAY. ... Hm. I guess that's all I had to say :\ BYE! :)

PS: What does savoury mean? Like, what does it taste like? Or what food is savoury? I just.. I don't know :(

It's Just the Darndest Thing

So, LOL, ugh. Chem and physics are dead, yayyyyy! (until ze trials). But hey, I’m free of Warragamba yam and generation generator (look how creative I am…). Anywho, the last two days have been a simple hell. Really, all I had to do was research and generate but alas, I waited until the very last minute to do so. LOL, I really need to start things early. I should actually start prepping for English now. ….. ANYWHO, on with the blagging. So chem was pretty easy. I mean, the research part. The test was okay, but winging things is very bad. Do not wing things. It is bad, stupid and ohmydearlord, not what it seems like. It looks like it’s gonna be absolutely fine. You stand in confidence, hands on hips, staring so gallantly at the sky and declare “I. Am. Winging it.” And then your just-as-lazy friend agrees and high fives you. LOL Dawnt. Don’t do it. It ends horribly. You laugh it off in front of everyone else but trip on your way home and in one rush of disconcerting truth, you break down in the middle of the footpath, in broad daylight with beyonce looking down on you. …. What? Anyhwo, I know I got one question right so whooo. If you got the concentration of solution A as 0.88ppm or something like that then congratz, brah. Congratzulations. Anyways, after the test, I went home, wasted time for an hour and went straight into physics :L I finished my model at 11 pm and stayed up doing the report. I have this very strange but certain feeling that I will fail the report part because oh my lord, it is horrible. I mean, yuck. I mean, I put too much work into the model and now that it’s time to state theory, I combust and failfailfail. I’m sorry if this post is too ridiculous to the point where you just can’t be bothered with its nonsense ways of bullocks. … But yeah, I don’t know. I am currently eating blue berry flavoured jelly. Anywho, let’s go back to the making of the model. Oh dear lord. My back must’ve gone through hell. And oh my lordylordyloo, the sawing incident. LOL, so I needed a small platform for my brushes to sit on and I didn’t have anything at the ready except for a big cock of wood [block*] and so I had to saw something out of it. And of course there was an easy, safe way of doing [FUN, INTRUDING, BUT SOMEWHAT RELEVANT, FACT: “Safeway is what they call woolworths’ in Melbourne] it, but of course I did not see that safe way and I chose to do it in a more horribly dumb way. LOL I’m not going to describe to you how I did it, but I ended up scraping my finger with the saw and LOL It was not pretty. Like, I had a flap of skin flopping on my finger and you probably don’t want to know this but oh well. :L It was bleeding and LOL I panicked like crazy. I tried to keep calm so my mum wouldn’t overreact and I just put detol on it, band-aided it and continued panicking upstairs. LOL I don’t know if I was just being super-dramatic and experiencing some sort of placebo but I started feeling woozy so I sat on my bed in case of fainting. But I didn’t faint. I tumblr’d a bit and went back to work. I found there was a better way and lol, phew. Anywho, after all that hard work, I connected my LEDlight, turned off the surrounding lamps and anxiously turned my crank. …

So I just flipped everything. In my head because otherwise there’d be a big mess and I don’t want to clean up, I have a report on a failed project to do. Anywho, in the midst of my infinite sadness, I told my brov that I should’ve just gone with Lynana’s idea of buying a multi-meter, but there was just no time to go to jaycar again. By the by, cute jaycar guy was there my second time ‘round from the other week. I’ve probably already mentioned him once but he was cute, tall, pretty fit, white and smart :) Anywho, I was wallowing in self-pity when my brother was all like “hey, dad should still have the multi-meter I bought him”. I spat out my strawberry milk in surprise and excitement (in my head because strawberry milk is a good thing that should never be wasted). And lol, IT WORKED. The volts produced were minute and just oh my god. LOL I really wanted to have my project shine but at that point I was ecstatic with it working at all. I wrote a half-assed report and went to painting my EDAY mask. And lol, even though I had the whole night, I managed to be late for eday. It was just the most horrible morning. My mask was not ready, my printer was not printing my report and my generator broke! I KNOW. I was rushing like crazy to get my crap together, and there it was. Without its handle. And I have a very strong feeling that it was my brother. I mean, he said as he walked out the door, “I’m leaving now!” and left really quickly. I mean, he NEVER tells me when he’s leaving, HE JUST LEAVES. But this time. Something was different. And when I walked in to take my generator, there it was. It was on the table, not on the chair where I left it, with its crank broken off. Now, I know what you’re thinking. I mean, I did leave it on the chair and people sit on those. It probably wasn’t entirely your brother’s fault BUT HEY. I put it on the second chair, which was covered in books, paint and my generator! He could’ve sat on the perfectly empty, spotless first chair. And so he probably did. And it was while he was sitting on the first chair that he knocked my project off of the second chair! Anywho, I tried to glue it on and try to let it set as I got all my other crap together but LOL It did not hold. So I put blu-tac on and hurried to the car. Ugh.

Anywho, EDAY!!!! WHOOOOO! What fun. The concert was amazing. Snoop A – you were Snoop A-mazing! :D And Mulan was just marvellous. I mean, Danny, bravobravoBRAVO and Phoenix, what a yell! BigJetPlane people, loved you guys. And lol, it was just really good through and through. OH! I loved the dubstep fighting scene in mulan. It was really cool! Anywho, I loved how our grade went all out with the costumes. It was really cool, and I loved all of them. Let me name some of my favourites :D The Spartans were cool. Kollinchin, I would kill to tear that robe off of you. Jenny, you deserved first prize. Jess&Mars - STRAYA, M8. Ruth, you looked thainamic. Mai, the kimono worked out well. Teaemzy - very pretty in chinese pink. LOL A lot of nipple from the basketball boyz. James, you looked very kawaii in that big, winter hat. Tiahn, Mexican high5 (we should’ve done a cultural dance – ie, the Mexican wave). And lol, nobody understands me :L I tried to make a mexican day of the dead mask but no…. LOL like the ones below:

But I only made a half mask so I could breathe on the day but I ended up making it too big for my face and glasses anyway and without the teeth, nobody even got that it was supposed to be a skull :( But hey, I had a poncho from my dad’s monking days and a sombrero. Although, I really should’ve just gone with my brother’s idea from the start. I should’ve gone as a farmer and said that my culture was agriculture. ….. Yeah, I know, what a great idea and I should’ve gone with it BUT WHAT.EVAR. LOL.

And so, it was just the darndest thing. Even though I stayed up half of one night and the whole of another right after, I was not at all sleepy during eday. I was surprised that I could stay up the whole night but even the day following it? And then, of course, I broke down during tutor. LOL Oh my god, it was horrible. I spent more than half the lesson going in and out of sleep. I had to keep my head up and whenever I closed my eyes, I was in danger. I was constantly falling asleep and waking up in shock from my heading tipping forward. I was too sleepy to copy down things on the board properly and I ended up with the messiest theory, writing the random-est things down. I mean oh my god. During the moments when I was actually pretty awake I’d look at my book and there’d be scribbles and words that never actually existed on the board. It was crazy! LOL I wonder how weirded out the girl next to me was :L Halfway through I asked monsieur Mai if I could go to the bathroom and I just spent the whole bathroom break yawning out all my yawns and washing my face. When I came back there were only twenty five minutes until the end of class so…..

Anywho, I came home, laid down and downloaded a game on my phone called “Fantasy Town”. LOL I waited for it to download and fell asleep. For 15 hours. LOL It was a nice nap but I was almost late  to English tutor :L And yet, I’m still sleepy now. Hm. Oh, and fantasy town did not work out. It ended up lagging to the point where my phone completely froze. What a disappointment.

Anywho, I shall leave you with a thought. LOL You know in Taylor Swift’s “Dear John”? LOL whenever she sings the line “And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand” I just imagine John Mayer, sobbing and rocking back and forth in a dark corner, holding onto a big book titled “Traitors Who Don’t Understand” :L Just, yeah :L BYE!

Future Fears

The future is so darn scary :( I keep thinking about it and I want to see myself in newspapers, on red carpets waving at all the people gawking at my actors. I'll create a brilliant movie about the strangest concept and it will definitely jerk tears from all over the world. People will marvel at my diamond of a film. They'll be impressed by my high ratings and say, goddamn this William Trab makes wondertastic movies! And not only that, but I will inspire thousands. Maybe they'll want to become a movie star or a film-maker, or they'll want to travel to space like in my new tragedy. Of course, I don't know why they'd want to when they know everybody dies at the end of the movie. But, maybe they will. By the way, this movie I make in the future that impresses the world and jerks its tears - it's called "Nova Dayz". It sounds ridiculous but it's not. Just look at the ratings. The general public will crowd into the theatre on premiere night, since all the promotional stuff worked like a charm. They'll sift through the other trailers and quietly await my anticipated film. And thus, it will start with a logo. Maybe an old friend's company. They will call it FILMstuffz. It will also be ridiculous but it will work, too. And then, there it is. The opening lines instill fear and a dash of ohlordyloo: "I'm not scared, Lucas." "Oh but you should be. Feel afraid, Lucy - feel very afraid." Drama, action, thrills and mystery. Climax, anti-climax - MEGACLIMAX + PLOT TWIST. Ambiguous ending? Yes siree. Credits roll, and the audience is left with shaking bones, dilated pupils and their minds violated. The movie lives up to expectations. Maybe it goes beyond them by far. It's in this moment of deciding whether they're ready to stand up again or not that they see in normal-sized white writing against black background, slowly climbing the screen: "Directed by William Trab". It's in this moment, that I begin completion. And from there on, I become evolution. Evolution of the modern day - but in our case future day - director. I set a new mark for other directors. They idolise me. They want to become me. But I am me. And only I will ever really be me. I will be king, legend, god.

But only in my dreams.

Anywho, serously, the future freaks me out like crazy. It's so unstable, the life I want to lead. Oh my god, there's such a small chance of big-time success. WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME? I-... I'm not sure. Maybe I should do a course at uni first and then follow the film thang like the stranger on tumblr said but like, I don't wanna. I'm too lazy, and that's what's going to kill me. Ugh, study.


Anywho, in other news, crappy photoshop wheeeee:

A video to bring back all videos... perhaps.

Enjoy:


Whoa... the length of the video is 3:33 :O Sacre Bleu!

LYANNA, READ.

LOL, just to clarify, the poem I wrote for your birthday below -> Not directed at you LOL It's about a boy that was in my imagination and I thought I'd give it to you as a bday present but I was sleepy and I forgot to clarify :'(

This Is What Happens When I Don't Sleep.

To the lovely Lyanna Rocks:

Don't forget there's another side,

You don't have to keep running like there's nowhere to hide.

Hop right in, let's go for a ride,

Paintbrush smile, and bottle-cap eyes,

Rip the band-aid, take the first bite,

Fall into no slumber tonight,

There are better things for you to do,

Like fly space-crafts, break hearts, find who's who.

And things will brighten up once you find the switch.

It's not too late to dig yourself out of this cold, dog-gone ditch,

Now.  Take the jelly and soften the blow, 

Keep your eyes peeled for the bed-ridden glow.

Stitch the wound up, your blood's gone cold.

You are the cutest thing I ever did hold.

Time to watch your kind eyes fade away.

Who ever thought it would be today.

They said I could never put you back together again.

They told me those things could never be the same.

But here you are, Dorothy Gray,

Propped up by a rope, singing a ho and a hey.

My mind is a wonderfield, too strange,

For any kind of yield, to prosper in the plow.

My brain is strung together by make-believe, 

Dreams and far-off fantasies, 

That tell me of the times when we were together.

But you know what they say, it'll always be never.

I'm so alone on this side of the spectrum.

You seem to be doing fine.

I'm happy if you are, my love.

I'll pull through when push comes right to shove.

Time scatters to the emptiness of the edges of my soul,

They fill the aching, the gaping, silent holes,

You left in me. I keep dreaming of the days where we would be,

Standing-still, high-hill, big-man, far-off, time-bomb, sick-days, bad-hair, no-hope, star-gone, hold on to Whatever you have left.

And you came back for me.

I don't get it either.

Continuation

Venusian: Not when you’ve lived like me, it isn’t. Do you ever look in the mirror and hate what you see? I do. And not only that, I look at every single part of me and despise. There’s so much hate in me, Barman. And it’s all aimed at yours truly. I want to be pretty, Short-cake. And I know what you’re going to say. ‘But you are, V!’ Please, I am not pretty. Not yet at least. I still need a wider thigh gap, protruding ribs and a stomach so flat, it resembles a black hole. I want a different nose, I want a different pair of lips. My hair will never be the right length, the right shine or the right curl. I’ll always look wrong. I’ll always be the Venusian who didn’t quite turn out right. And this mirror, Barman. It’ll never leave me. Everywhere I look, every corner that my gaze falls into – all I see, is me staring right back at me, disgusted. And… I can’t live like that. I’ve tried running. I ran from home, I ran so far. But I’m so tired, Mr B. I’m so… I’m just too tired.

LOL Yeah. I forgot to add Venusian's anorexia and mirror thing soo... here ya go :L Yeah, pretty much, Barman says inner beauty is more valuable than outer and then all the lactose intolerant people crap themselves in unison :L Get it? Anywho, yeah :L ..........

*Do Not Read If Lactose Intolerant*

So I just wrote the Venusian part of my script... And well, although it's not exactly complete, it is incredibly cheesy. I mean, oh my lord, I'm horrible. But oh well, let's get a message in there somewhere :L For the children, people. It's fo' the chillin'. By the by, there are aliens trapped in a bar on Jupiter and the following happens: [Also, excuse the cussin' (It's for an adult audience :L)]

Another crash is heard. The lights go out again but this time, only a spotlight flickers back up, and it shines on the Venusian. She is looking up at the ceiling, thinking. She then turns around and moves in a running-like fashion slowly across the stage while lights shine across it, going in the opposite direction of Venusian. The lights come one after another, faster than Venusian’s moving speed, top give the illusion that Venusian is the one picking up speed. Barman enters on stage left where he stops Venusian.

Barman: Where are you off to, V?

Venusian: I- I was just looking for the bathroom.

Barman: Oh please, Missy, I can see it in your eyes. You’re not running to something, you’re running away from it.

Venusian: The bathroom?

Barman: From what you fear.

Venusian: I fear nothing, sweet-cakes.

Barman: Oh, but you were scared of the great, big swirl in the sky not two minutes ago. It’s fear that I can see in your eyes, Venusian.

Venusian: And what exactly am I running from? The storm?

Barman: I don’t know. But I would like to. What was so scary about Venus?

Venusian: Hm. I guess I am running. But I’m not scared. I’m far from it. I did what I had to do. It was hard to breathe back there. It was too hard to do anything. You know that foreign story, about the duckling and the swans?

Barman: Yes, I do believe so. Don’t tell me you’re the “ugly duckling”. That is so cheesy.

Venusian: Well fuck you, I am.

Barman: Well, hey, look at the swan you are now.

Venusian: Please, Barman, do not patronise me. I am so far away from blossoming, from white feathers, that I might have to just dig a hole for myself. It’s better off for everyone.

Barman: Whoa, when did my bar get so glum? Venusian, I will tell you this once and once only. You will never call yourself ugly again, because if you’re ugly then what does that make me? BEYOND ugly. And I am a god. So chin up, little girl, and accept it. You can go further than the storms. You are a goddess, no question.

Venusian: Venus was a goddess. Back on Earth, all the roman humans worshipped her and her love and beauty and, of course, they never even had to see her. I am not a goddess, Barman, and I hate to break it to you, but you’re not a God. We’re not even close, Key Lime. Now my people - my parents, my school mates, every fucking person who lived on Venus - they were close. Flawless, infinite bitches, they were. You think the supermodels on Earth, or the princesses of Neptune are amazing? Times their beauty by a thousand, and you get an inkling of Venusian glory.

Barman looks down in sadness.

                Really?

Barman: Yes, really, V. That was very hurtful.

Venusian:  Aw, man. I’m so sorry, Barman. I’m just cranky. This place is so different, and the cushions are so rough and hard and- I’m sorry, again. This bar is wonderful. I’m just- I don’t know what I am. You know what, Barman? You’re still not a God.

Barman: This is really helping, V.

Venusian: You’re beyond that.

Barman: Hm. Which means, you are too.

They smile at each other.

                Wait, if the Venusians are so damn pretty, what are you so unhappy about?

Venusian: I just described them to you. They shine brighter than stars, and I don’t. I’m the little dust cloud who didn’t quite glow bright enough. I was supposed to become infinite, Mr B, but I’m just- I’m your average, everyday alien.

Barman: But you’re not. You ascend in beauty more than you think. Maybe not physically - although you could be a very successful model outside of Venus - but you do exceed the limit of true beauty. Besides, the stars that shine the brightest almost always fall the fastest.

Venusian: Really, Barman? Really?

Barman: Cheesy is not just your thing, V. 

I know, guys. I know.... 

Also, PLEASE COMMENT to give me feedback. It would be heaps helpful. After all, my ATAR does slightly depend on it :D I should get a c-box...

In this moment

In this post:

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower
• Passion and Doubts
• My Stomach
• Chocolate Milk
• Old Poetry
• Chocolate Milk II
• Monologue
• One More Piece of Milk Talk

1. So I just watched the trailer for Perks and my oh my, it looks interesting. I had also just learnt that that was where the infamous quote "and in this moment, I swear, we were infinite" came from. Crazy. I thought it was from some pop song :L And, according to Jess, and from what it seems, the book is from the perspective of the main character. And I'd imagine that the writer would be able to write like he would in a diary. Or she. Like sophisticated blogging. It just sounds really fun to write a novel like a blog, but incredibly more detailed and in someone else's shoes.

2. I'm beginning to think I don't have what it takes to become a star. Or to even make it through NIDA. Or even make it in. But Emily told me not to lose my passion, and yet it's slipping. It's slipping ever so slowly, but I am losing grasp. I want to write, create and share. I want to inspire, transpire, I WANT TO BE A STAR.

3. MY STOMACH IS SO DAMN ANNOYING. Whenever I'm at tutor or something, or just around people, it decides to make a long, loud-ass grumbling noise for the whole class to hear. ugh, dammit, stomach, stop being such a bitch :@

4. I love chocolate milk.

5. Unloved Souls - this is a very old poem I wrote and yeah... It's okay :L Kinda has a few take care elements in it and eh. It's kinda teenage love stuff and dllgsjklg I don't know.... And LOL, I realised I like roses and daisies, because I wrote this before I wrote the one on my cerebrum and they both mention roses and daisies. Same flowers, same time :L Oh, and this one's supposed to be a little songy.... Don't judge :L

Clocks ticking on the walls.

People crowding in the halls.

Have you ever been so lost,

‘til you can’t even find yourself?

I’ll make my way through the waves

Of bustling rose and death-like daisies

Just for you.

Hoping that if I follow the petals that lay in the midst of the tune,

I will find my way to the likes of you.

But as they push me down, and I break the tension, hit the ground,

I find myself at your feet.

‘Cause I loved you. And I loved every second of our time.

And you loved me. Those days we can’t deny.

But you left, and I left and nobody said it,

But we all knew we were thinking of it.

And so time stood still, yet so much to kill.

You left these shoes that no-one else could fill,

So I waited. And I waited. ‘Cause I loved you.

And I know you loved me too. But you left me. And I left you.

‘Cause I loved you, but I don’t feel the same.

And you loved me. None of us can ever feel it again.

Cause you broke every piece, every bone, every inch of me.

I tore through every muscle, every touch of skin, your identity.

My heart, it froze with your ice-cold touch,

And your heart believed in the truest of loves,

‘Cause I loved you. And you loved me.

But we could never let it lie, just let it be.

Oh, don’t tell me now. Don’t try to bring it back.

‘cause I’ve tried it all before, but we still end up off track,

And in our own little holes. Burrowed with the pity, the sorrow, our miserable,

Unloved souls.

6. Oh my god: Chocolate Milk + Shot Glasses. Oh dear lord, this night is about to get WILD.

7. Lonely Hearts and Nebulas (:O That's my tumblr url! Crazy, I know!)

I feel like I’m falling faster than I should be. Into your arms, through them, hitting the concrete. If I knew you could catch me, I would’ve fallen from the end of the Universe. But I floated in that space, so idly, so alone. I was too afraid to give in to the gravity of your heart, your soul and your arms. It just seems like if I leave this empty vacuum, I’ll no longer be safe from what I fear the most. I’ll be vulnerable to the dark, spiders and, of course, the pavement. But it also looks like things aren’t all that still up here in the sky beyond the sky. For every minute that I spend among the stars, the lonely, yawning stars, I grow stranger. Yes, stranger, and more hollow, and more lacking of an essence of mind, sanity and control. I’m afraid of what I’ve become. I am no longer able to separate love from lust, and like the stars that blaze among me, I may have to explode and wisp away, white-hot and alone, in hopes of escaping this heartless fate.

I can tell that you’re lonely too. I can see it in those eyes of yours, stark-cold and hard as stone. You’re almost robotic, and it’s killing you. You’re swapping your DNA for binary, tearing out your skin for modifications of steel and circuitry.  And I can see why you do it at all, why you’re so willing. Because it’s without emotion, that you feel - well not feel - but you find that in a void of a body, you won’t have to deal with all the things that you fear. But you don’t have to be afraid - not anymore. You can protect me from the darkness, the spiders and the pavement. And I’ll protect your from the same. We can wrap each arm around each wound, and rock ourselves to sleep. It’s lonely where we are, in your hole and far out in this blackness. But in between, things are brighter, eternal, transcendent, blissful and overflowing with happiness. Our happiness.

If only we could find a way out, first.

8. One day, I will buy different kinds of milk - full cream, skim, half-skim, goat - ALL KINDS. And then, I'll take out a glass, and make milk combinations. Maybe one day I'll take 2 parts full-cream, one part goat and another part tits. Every day will be a mystery. A milk mystery. ...

9. That is all. Au revoir, boys and girls.

10. Also, We'll be wild. We'll be glowing in the dark.